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 Grief

When we experience the death of someone we love, we experience grief. Grief is a natural response to loss. The grief process is uniquely personal and will depend on the closeness of the relationship, and whether the death is sudden or expected.

There are common stages, but no one experiences these in the same sequence, time frame or intensity. Some stages are:

v     Feelings of shock
Shock is often the first reaction to news of the death of the one you love. It is your body’s way of coping with a traumatic situation. 

v     Disbelief/denial
Sometimes the suddenness of the death is met with disbelief or even denial if the reality of the death is too painful to deal with.

v     We express emotion
It is healthy for us to cry and it is a natural release of emotion. Sometimes we may express relief, as the death may provide a ‘release’ for the one we love from pain and suffering. It is normal to feel relieved and you need not feel guilty. Suppressing your emotions may slow your recovery.

v     Loneliness
Feeling alone is common following the separation from the one you love. This happens even when family and friends provide care and support.

v     Guilt
Some people feel guilty for the death and blame themselves, particularly if the death was an accident or suicide. You may feel that if only you have been there or intervened in a situation, you might have stopped the death. IT takes a long time to resolve these feelings. 

v     Anger 
You may find yourself expressing anger towards that person, who has died, for leaving you. Anger might also be turned on people you feel could have saved the one you love like doctors or people who were present.

v     Physical Symptoms
Coping with bereavement often causes a physical response. You may suffer from headaches, temporary loss of memory and concentration, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, low defense to flu and infections and lack of energy or motivation. 

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